Oh that's not a truck... that's my butt

It's true. My butt has exceeded the max capacity of Buttdom. Everytime I look in the mirror, I see my butt getting bigger. My stomach is doubling in size as well... which is acceptable, but c'mon... I have been taking walks with Austin again since it's starting to be less miserable outside for me. I strap his active little self in his stroller and off we go. I was shocked about how happy he was with his sippy cup, "baby" and blankie in the stroller. Normally he wouldn't sit still. He was probably scared to look down at the extreme rate I was walking this a.m. All I could think about was my butt being able to fit into the truck when I go into labor to get to the hospital. OH and the joys of celulite... I won't go into that... but wow!! WOW!! I love my beautiful baby belly and I love that I am getting bigger but does everything have to get bigger right along with it?? *sigh*
I am going to post some pictures of my 26 week belly. I have been meaning to... but I haven't even taken them. I took one at 17 weeks and that's about it. I feel terrible, but I just don't have the energy nor the desire to snap shot my ever growing belly every week... but I promise it will happen soon enough.

OH....the pain!!!

I don't know if I am suffering some sort of episode of horrible heartburn or if my breasts have suddenly exploded into huge proportions... but I think I might be dying. I had bad heartburn when I was preggo with Austin, but with this one I have terrible heartburn and it sits in my upper back and chest and makes it hard to breathe. I am sitting here upright in a chair with a heating pad on high, a pillow behind my back, and a super huggy sports bra. It hurts to move, it hurts to breathe, it just hurts. I have taken Pepcid (which is what worked with Austin) but this time not so much. Thank goodness my next Dr appointment is Sept 9th because I don't think I could make it much longer. You know the old wive's tale that if you have heartburn, your child will be born with hair?? Yeah... this child will be born with Hippie Hair and chest hair that can be braided. This is beyond ridiculous. I would love to curl into a little ball but I can't get my knees that high anymore. sigh

A creative play a day keeps the Boredom Monster away...

It is absolutely amazing that one cardboard box and one sheet can keep the attention of a child long enough for me to drink 2 hour old coffee. We are running out of fun things to do so I am constantly trying to get creative with the games and activities. At this juncture in the morning (8:00 a.m.), we had already colored daddy a picture of Mickey Mouse, played in soapy water in the sink ("I can feed myself yogurt MOM!"), drove through the house in an emergency vehicle saving innocent stuffed animals from wicked other stuffed animals, read several books and quite a few other things...wow, when I put them all down, we had a busy morning. Since we are trying to move sometime in the near future or so, we have big boxes lying around... Out came the box. Austin gave me the "what do you expect me to do with THAT?" look, so being 5 months pregnant and as big as a small house, I "crawled" myself into the not-as-big-as-it-looked box. A fort, of course. I watched him crawl in and out in and out... try to shove his lion in there (he can't lift lion, so mommy had to shove lion in there) and then try to shove himself in the makeshift fort with said lion. This went on for about half a cup of cold Joe.

Loss of interest ensued so I had to think of something else to entertain him. A racecar... of course. We scooted around the house making beeping noises, hoots, hollers, crash sounds (mommy's center of gravity is off!)... he had a blast... then it was time for a taxi service game. He (or me) shoved Lion in the box and Austin took the lead driving Lion around the house and making the same (a little bit better) noises mommy had just made. It was really really cute. Sidenote: He also does this with my on wheels laundry basket that my husband bought me because I am so preggo! haha And just for the record... he did have fun...even if the look on his face doesn't appear to be having fun in the last photo. Austin has started giving "mean looks"... he does them spordically throughout the day for no reason.

The sheet was next. I raided the linen closet, got out a fitted sheet, stuck him in it and pulled him through the house... Giggles and hoots were all the rage this a.m.

My coffee sits, half drank (or is it drunk?) on the coffee table, cold and unwanted at this point in the morning, but all in all, we had fun this a.m. and as I sit here typing this blog, my child who has about as much energy as a large espesso from starbucks is snoozing away...visions of cardboard fun dancing in his head.

What I have learned from being a mom and having one on the way...

1. If it's not bolted down, glued shut or if it's a button... it will be stolen, hidden, injested and/or pushed.
2. Cell phones don't float in fish tanks
3. Always make extra. More than half will end up on the floor, in his hair (our yours depending on how close you are), across the room, under the couch or in the diaper.
4. With the first you were so careful with your diet, no heavy lifting, blah blah blah... at this point in the game, you are just praying that you don't birth a pizza roll... 6 weeks early.
5. Point means give... don't be confused or tantrums will ensue.
6. The dry heaving sound while vomiting from morning sickness is a stand up act with a very entertained audience...with one hand holding your hair, one hand holding your child back and a small prayer that "baby" (his favorite toy) or whatever he is holding at that moment doesn't end up in the toilet as well.
7. The word "alone" does not exist
8. If it's lost or dropped... it will be found, retrieved and eaten... and pooped out whole.
9. Being asked "are you sure there is only one in there" is depressing... especially when it's your husband... daily.
10. You get on a first name basis with your Dr. office, especially when you see them for 2 years straight...every four months
11. Changing a "walkers" or a "crawlers" diaper is no joke. Most wrestling moves, I am sure, were invented by mothers changing diapers.
12. You don't have enough hands... realize it and move on.
13. The two times they want to sit with you are a) if they are sick and b) if you have something they want (especially useful with food)
14. You can name most of the stains on every bit of clothes you own.
15. Speaking of naming stains.. you now refer to stains with food names... "oh that's carrots" "that looks like plums maybe" "Is that.... banana?"
16. Every word of Brown Bear Brown Bear will be forever burned into your brain and you will have dreams of The Very Hungry Caterpillar raiding your pantries at night.
17. No drawers or cabinets are off limits -- even if they are baby proofed-- they will be banged and banged...and banged.
18. Baking or cooking are very theraputic... if they are napping.
19. Chasing baby around the house never gets old... for him.
20. Milk + fevers = not good
21. Babies are sweet, until you take something away from them... then they are gremlins and shouldn't be fed after 8:00.
22. Never underestimate the power of a button....especially one that lights up or blinks.
23. You wanted so bad for them to get their own little personality... now you are just kind of hoping that sweet little "personality" doesn't show itself in the middle of Walmart while you are in a rush...
24. Wait... Rush? What rush?
25. The simplest of things is the best entertainment and just might get you through a sudden traffic jam or an incredibly slow line at the grocery store.
26. You plan every second of your life around them... and the nearest bathroom.
27. A diaper changing table in the handicap bathroom is a harness for your child when you are alone at the store and need to go to the bathroom. It is also probably the one thing that day that sends your child into a frenzied tantrum because he is strapped down long enough for you to use the bathroom.
28. Your child does not care if you didn't go to bed until 1:00 a.m. They will be waking up at 6:00 a.m. on the dot b/c they didn't go to bed at 1:00 a.m.
29. "meh, they will poop it out" gets thrown about way to much.
30. RECORD IT.... whatever it is... the $10,000 winner on America's Funniest Videos is ALWAYS some kid doing something...anything. We are still looking for our money shot!